How to Learned to Be a Better Listener

    "Here’s How I Learned to Be a Better Listener" by James H. Burnett III from Boston Globe Magazine (Also published in Reader's Digest Magazine April 2014).
      He as a  reporter,he talk to strangers for a living; love the challenge of getting them to open up. But it was happened an accident; he began to lose his voice repeatedly. The doctor told he needs surgery; otherwise his throat would forever damage. In the next few weeks, he learned to listen to his wife and his son and his dog as well as birdsongs. Suddenly find everything is so beautiful. Before the surgery, he spent time on a mobile phone. Until he recovered voice, the strange thing is that he likes what he heard.

        How to be a better listener? Firstly, He has a meticulous heart, he can appreciate the feelings of others; he was full of compassion, he can feel others happy and fear. He has a profound self-restraint, he can understand the difficulties of others, forgive the mistakes of others, to tolerate the faults of others. Secondly, he has good patience, and ability to listen to others messy, immature, even incoherent, contradictory views for a long time. He also has to discovery and absorb other people's enthusiasm and the abilities ideas, because when people have concerns and suspect, he can sincerely and kindly encourage them to continue; Thirdly, when people occasionally say interesting, he would give a knowing smile; When others speak out some good ideas, he will continue nodded; When someone tries to say something to express thoughts, he would attentively listen, and from time to time ask some didn't catch that question. Lastly, When someone's speech ended, he will take someone else was talking about finishing well organized, and be absorbed them. Because of these good qualities, the clever talker often propounded and detailed understanding of all kinds of people. His language can often be very effective touching. Thus, no matter what people see him, are willing to put him as a good friend, willing to reveal his own thoughts, hid himself in the hearts of intense pain, troubles pour out to him, hoping to get his sympathy, comfort and assistance .

       In conclusion, a clever conversation must also be modest and courteous. No matter how others admire him, admire him, he should be the attitude of humility, open-minded. Similarly, a small-minded only had room for himself, but also unpopular. Not to published others judgment and emotional conversations, comments, always on a neutral attitude. Remember, sometimes non-verbal transmission of information you can express your position, but must not be expressed in the language, which is the most important. If you try to go beyond this limit, there is danger to listening the wrong places, make that a loss of direction and meaning of the conversation. I think sometimes in the process of listening, you can learn a lot of knowledge, so that you become more mature and more popular in the crowd.

Read more: http://www.rd.com/advice/relationships/how-to-be-a-better-listener/#ixzz3GYkUKagG

                         

   Helping a Friend or Family Member

"What to Say When Someone is Having an Anxiety Attack" by Eileen Bailey. If your friend or family members suffers from anxiety, and you want to help them you just understanding and listening, without judgment. This is you do the first step job.

   Firstly, whatever you think, your friend or relative, this fear is real. Validate the fear rather than brush it off，and you can talk with them "Your fears are understandable". Secondly, every people will going to through a difficult time. Your friend or relative needs to hear that you are here to hold their hands, and stand by them and be supportive. Let them know they're not alone, and talk with them "I am here for you". Furthermore, no matter what you know the right thing to say or do, but you should ask your friend or relative, ask what you can do to help. Give them best help, and make them calm down. Lastly, your friend or relative that anxiety attacks are temporary,so maybe you can give them a tricky one reminding. Remind them "This too shall pass". When they're during a panic attack, anxiety sufferers may not remember what to do. Taking deep breaths maybe can help them calm down. Sometimes you can put a hand on their arm or shoulders, letting your friend or relative know he is not alone.

   In conclusion, when your friend or family members suffers from anxiety, you don't need to talk to them, you just give them hug, listen and understand them, and talk with them you'll be here, let them know you are not alone. This is can help them to face fears. Give them best help, let them far away from anxious.

    

http://www.healthcentral.com/anxiety/cf/slideshows/what-not-to-say-when-someone-is-having-an-anxiety-attack?ap=825#slide=1

         'Toxic stress' can harm your child

  Nadine Burke Harris, a pediatrician, He is expressed in this commentary 'Toxic stress' can harm your child. This paper talk about  'Toxic stress'  leads to children with attention deficit (hyperactivity) disorder. It can begin in infancy. Between birth and age 4, is a critical period of development,some children experience high anxiety or fear because their  environments where are unsafe.  They're may encounter physical or emotional abuse, community violence or even extreme poverty. This trauma can have a huge impact on their brain and immune system development. Toxic stress is big stress.

   Adverse childhood experiences also heighten the risk of various diseases . A caregiver is a child's best buffer. When a caregiver is able help the child manage difficult feelings and develop healthy coping skills, toxic stress can be prevented.A caregiver's interaction with a child is a key building block for healthy emotional, social and physical development. This focused on helping parents and caregivers understand that everyday interactions with children -- even if seemingly small, like enjoying a good book or a laugh with a child -- can protect their health and well-being. Poverty and adversity don't have to be a prescription for lifelong poor health. With strong bonds established in the early years, parents can positively impact their children's lives and help them build a strong foundation for success.
   In conclusion, this paper tell us,even the child look like very small,but they look like a book need us use our patient and love go slowly research feeling it.Give your child a good environment for them to grow up healthy and happy.Often give them to communicate, so you do not have barriers between each other.And stress also heighten the chance of obesity, stroke, cancer, asthma and diabetes, and multiply the risk of hepatitis, depression and heart disease. So we need protect our child,Often concerned about their health so that they thrive in.

http://www.cnn.com/2014/09/26/opinion/harris-toxic-stress/index.html?iref=allsearch